It’s almost impossible to escape all of the posts on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram about the untimely death of Robin Williams and his battle with depression. I personally have opted to treat it like posts on Scandal when I haven’t seen the latest episode yet. I try to avoid social media and quickly scroll past any news.
I started thinking about why is it that I have no desire to go down memory lane to revisit all the great characters Robin Williams has played? It was a bit odd as I liked most of his movies. Mork and Mindy was one of my favorite shows as a kid. And I still can remember the HBO specials he did with Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg. So again, why do I not want to be bombarded with news of Robin Williams?
Then it hit me. Depression: A word, a feeling, and a mental torture chamber I like to forget exists. I know I can’t, but if I could, I’d wipe it out of existence.
Robin Williams – picture courtesy of Hot Gossip Italia
See, I have had my own issues with depression and I can tell you first hand that it is a beast. Depression sneaks up on you and then body slams you into a wall without warning. Ok, so there are small warning signs, but I always seem to miss the small ones. The bigger ones are hard to miss, but by then, you’re already in trouble.
When you are depressed or suicidal, your mind tricks you into believing that the world will go on without you and that your loved ones are strong enough to cope with your death. And yes, the world will go on. However, as we’ve seen these past few days with Robin Williams, people will mourn the lost. They also won’t be able to comprehend how someone loved by many would want to commit suicide.
What they don’t know is that depression is a strange altered state. You don’t want to eat. You distance yourself from family and friends. And then you sleep…a lot. It is just hard to get out of a depression funk.
Depression: A word, a feeling, and a mental torture chamber
I question how smart is it to write about my own issues with depression? I guess I’ll find out the next time I interview for a job or someone comments or changes their behavior after reading this article. That said, I am not ashamed of my depression. It does not dictate who I am as a woman or an African American. Depression is just one of many of my attributes, which also include being hilarious (yep, I said it), kind, curious, a foodie, analytical, female, a gladiator, eclectic and so much more.
It’s unfortunate we lost Robin Williams, but I think it is great that people are now talking openly about depression. But don’t be fooled, once the media moves on from covering his death, discussions about depression will go back to being tucked away in the closet like a winter coat. This is especially true in the black community where if you said you were depressed, you might as well had said you had AIDS in the 80’s.
The stats may show rates of depression are lower for Africans Americans, but it’s not because we have some gene that makes us immune. It’s because 63 percent of African Americans believe depression is a personal weakness and only 31 percent of African Americans think depression is a health issue. Many fear the stigmatism of being labeled mentally ill or not having enough faith in God. Heck, my own parents are ashamed of the fact that I’ve been labeled as depressed. For them, it tarnishes their parenting report card as if they failed me and now society knows it. In reality, they did not fail me. Where they could improve is to stop hoping I will deny my depression ever occurred and begin being open to discussions about it.
Robin Williams courtesy of Chris Robertshaw (http://bit.ly/1t0c3w5)
I can’t say I know exactly what was going through Robin Williams’ mind to make him stop fighting his battle with depression. I don’t pity or judge him. I do however understand him and I feel sorrow. My heart also goes out to his family and friends as the questions of what could they have done differently will surely play in their minds. But they, like many of us, are grieving the lost of someone who made a difference in our lives.
It’s ok to grieve, but I challenge you to learn more about depression. Combat the stigmatism of this disease and help save another person who may be suffering from depression right now or in the future.
The best gift we can give to the memory of Robin Williams is to not put depression back in the closet.
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[…] big things were occurring. And in both cases I felt like everything good came to a screeching stop. I became depressed, I felt alone and as if the universe was against my success. This led to a deeper depression and […]