Free-ish is Not The Dream, Let's Fix That!

I love and hate Juneteenth. I love that Juneteenth is our FUBU holiday! It’s our version of July 4th and a Pride celebration wrapped into one day that celebrates our Blackness unapologetically.

But I also hate what Juneteenth represents. Don’t forget that this holiday exists solely because once again Blacks were denied freedom by white America in this country. For two years, Blacks in Texas were unknowingly forced into slavery even though the emancipation proclamation went into effect in 1863.

My family is from Texas so this feels personal. I’m sure some of my ancestors spent two extra years being enslaved. Not because the white slave owners didn’t know better, but because they didn’t want to lose their property and financial security. This is the part of Juneteenth that I hate.

Sadly, life after slavery hasn’t felt completely free as a Black woman living in America. It’s easy to blame everything on the systematic racism that this country refuses to change, but that’s not the full truth. We also are to blame for our own lack of freedom. I know, that’s not an easy pill to swallow, but it is one that can lead to your freedom.

Dr. Maya Angelou wrote an empowering book about a caged bird, which was a metaphor for her life. She knew she was caged. However, have you ever thought about the bird that doesn’t know she is caged? Or that the cage is one that she subconsciously built herself? Could this bird be you?

Ways We Keep Ourselves Caged

Not setting healthy boundaries
Staying in toxic relationships and jobs
People Pleasing
Value/Self-Worth Tied to What You Can Do For Others
Busy being busy
Living the life we think we should live and not the one we desire
Making everyone a priority above yourself
Playing small in your life

I lived a caged life for years. I call them the WTH years. The years between when I was a free-spirited child willing to follow her dreams and speak her mind no matter what to the woman I am today who recognizes the cage and is actively breaking the bars. Those WTH years include times when my self-esteem didn’t allow me to trust my instincts or worth. When I felt the need to constantly please others even if it made me unhappy. And then there were those years when I had over 300+ vacation hours because I was too busy and too important to my company to take a break or that was the story I told myself.

The cage is hard to see as there are no visible bars, but we feel the effects of being mentally caged. The symptoms are being tried, a gut feeling that life could be better, bingeing on food or shopping, feeling overwhelmed, or needing to plan a trip to escape life. And don’t think when you actually see the cage that you’re instantly free. I saw the cage for years and decided I didn’t want to do the work to be free. Is that where you are today?

It’s easier to live a caged life. You fit into the norm and you don’t have to stretch yourself to reach your goals. I get it. I thought I was living my best life during parts of those WTH years. Now I know I was wrong. When I began an active self-care practice and intentionally worked for my freedom, that’s when I truly started living and it has been amazing.

In honor of Juneteenth, let’s try something different. For the next 7 days, let’s add some freedom to your morning routine. I want you to select the freedom affirmation(s) that resonates with you. Then I want you to say the freedom affirmation out loud in a mirror each morning. This will help you intentionally start your day off reminding yourself of your freedom and what you want it to look like and be.

Even if you aren’t completely feeling the words in your current life, imagine what life could feel like if you released toxic people from your life or if you always felt worthy of putting on your own oxygen mask first. Make this task easier for yourself by taping the freedom affirmation to your bathroom mirror or putting a post-it on your bedroom door. Also, share in the Facebook group your experience as we want to celebrate your steps towards freedom!

Freedom is in your grasp when you’re ready.

Juneteenth Freedom Affirmations

I am worthy of putting on my oxygen mask on first
I release my need to impress others as I have nothing to prove or to be validated by others.
I am enough
I am free to choose and create my own life story. I do not need to follow society’s norm to fit in when I was born to stand out.
I lovingly release people, things and habits that no longer serve me without guilt, shame, or judgment
I am worthy of rest and the ability to recharge